Learning to live without your loved one and adapt to your new normal is a process. Knowing this was inevitable, doesn't necessarily make it any easier when it happens. It is still heart-wrenching.
'We are here to support you as you adjust and find a way forward. We can help you rediscover life again, at a pace that is right for you.
"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living."
- Marcus Tulius Cicero.
Grief does not follow a set timeframe; it won't disappear as life moves forward. Instead, it will become something that you will carry with you. In the beginning, the grief may be all consuming. Seeking support and guidance from professionals or individuals who have lived experience similar to you can be helpful as you move forward.
Grief is a natural response to loss, and it can feel overwhelming at times. It doesn’t follow a set path and can surface unexpectedly, and during everyday moments. While the pain of losing someone you love never truly goes away, it generally becomes more manageable with time. You may feel relieved, sad, guilty or frustrated, it’s important to give yourself space and time to process these feelings, There is no 'right' way to grieve, every individual experiences grief in their own way. Feeling withdrawn, tired and disconnected is very common.
Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Our bereaved support group provides understanding and connection, which many people find of great value. If you need someone to talk to or a community that understands, we’re here to help. To find out more, please get in touch with our friendly team.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
- Kahlil Gibran.
For most of us in the mesothelioma community the death of your loved one will not come as a surprise. Even when death is anticipated and relieves suffering, the grief can be overwhelming. The time following death can be a challenge, a never-ending list of things you need to do, all while still trying to adjust to your new normal.
This checklist may be helpful in organising what happens next when someone dies.
The period following a funeral can often feel quiet and isolating. It is important to allow yourself time to adjust. Establishing a simple routine, including simple tasks such as showering, preparing a basic meal or spending time outside, can help support your mental health.
Adjusting to life without your loved one takes time. Sharing memories and special moments with friends and family may offer some comfort. You may find yourself experiencing a wide range of emotions, sadness, anger, guilt, relief or even moments of laughter. All these responses are normal. Grief does not follow a pattern or a set timeline. Rather than trying to move past it, many people find they can adapt to grief over time
"The sun will rise in the morning, and the world will madden you with its insistence to move forward. However hard it is to imagine, inevitably the seconds will turn to minutes, the hours to days and you will find you have survived more than you thought possible."
- Elizabeth Clarke
This Poem by Connie F. Kiefer Byrd offers a potential future.
To honour you, I get up every day and take a breath, and start another day without you in it.
To honour you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile, and the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge.
To honour you, I take the time to appreciate everyone I love, I know now there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence.
To honour you, I listen to music you would have liked, and sing at the top of my lungs, with the windows rolled down.
To honour you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back, risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance.
You were my light, my heart, my gift of love, from the very highest source. So every day, I vow to make a difference, share a smile, live, laugh and love.
Now I live for us both, so all I do, I do to honour you.
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